Here’s to Ceasing those Unexpected Moments

There are these moments when life is so jumbled. When I feel there is hardly time to breathe let alone do the never ending laundry that continues to pile up in our house. These last few months have been a series of disheveled moments back to back. Between tweaking my homeschool curriculum for my 4th grader after dealing with a subject that landed us all in tears, handling my intense three year old, traveling back and forth to visit my hubby, managing a garden and house as a single parent, dealing with personal health struggles, and trying to still have a daily art practice, my days are filled to the brim. I am not a “single” mom by optimal choice, but the military has forced us to make a decision that we felt was best for our family…so I am temporarily in another state from my husband until he retires. I’m not going to sugar coat this, the adjustment has been extremely hard at times. But I am tremendously grateful that I can be there for my girls and give them a sense of community where they can continue to develop relationships. After years of living around America, we finally have a place we can call home and a community of people that we love. And right now that is important for our family.

Then there are things that you just have to fit into your life and make happen. So when I was asked to participate in a local art show, I didn’t even hesitate. This weekend I participated in my first official art gallery show as both a volunteer and an artist.

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And it. Was. Awesome.

Myself and 15 other talented artists exhibited an eclectic display of color and expression through many different forms of mediums. And I feel extremely appreciative for this amazing experience.

It was quite exciting to talk to the other artists and discuss their techniques. One thing I find rather interesting (and something I’ve noticed at other art shows), is that usually artists tend to be more on the introverted side…but we all kinda get that about each other. And it’s nice to be understood even though each of us are strange in our own way; because really, we are all on this journey together.

pattern-in-rennovation-lores-wm

Pattern in Rennovation: Patterns are representative of different patterns (or habits) we have in our lives, how these patterns can change due to situations outside our control, or how they can change because we choose to change them.

I wanted to share this experience, because although I hoped an art show opportunity like this would arrive years down the road, I hadn’t anticipated it happening so soon. It presented itself at such a crazy time in my life.

Sometimes you just never know what is right around the corner.

As I stood there and talked to different people who were interested in my work, I had this moment where I was purely so filled with gratefulness that I could share my work and actually be an inspiration to others.

transcendencelowres-tf

Transcendence

One lady asked me, “What was your initial pull that made you choose art?” For a moment I paused and stood there trying to think of a clever response. Then I took a deep breath and modestly sputtered out, “Well, I didn’t really choose art, it kinda chose me.” I explained further, “Growing up with a schizophrenic sister, creativity was my way of coping. For years I didn’t even consider painting or that I could ever be an artist. It just kinda happened over time. Art is my therapy, not really a career choice.”

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Through my health struggles and life challenges through the years, I find myself going back to my paints for comfort. Because no matter how crazy life is, or how I’m feeling, there is such a gentle peace in pushing paint around. And that refreshing moment breathes life back into me. This is my happy place.

I hope you are doing what you love. Life is too short, my friends.

 

*All paintings shown are copyright of Belinda Sigstad, Bellenna Elm Studio

My Beautiful Friend

We want to think we have some level of control.

In our lives.

In our health.

In our kids health.

We want to believe that we can somehow influence the way we feel through diet, or exercise, or mental control. And sometimes we can. We want to believe in the greater good, and believe in the “everything will work out” mentality. And sometimes it does.

But there are times when we get the stark realization that we honestly have no control over life. Our minds are trapped in our temporal bodies. Our spirits our strong, but our flesh is weak. It is our nature to fight…our bodies naturally fight bacteria every day. We desire to be strong; to be able to live strong. But illness can strike at any moment, and the illusion of control is shattered.

I watched a friend as she was losing her fight with cancer. This past weekend I sat by her bed and watched her as she was slipping away. Her body consumed by an incredible force that has taken total control. And I cried because she is a beautiful soul, a gifted teacher, an incredible friend, and she is way too young to be dealing with this. I cried because I was angry. Because she is one of those friends that once you know her she is ALWAYS your friend, no matter what the distance is between you or no matter how long it’s been since you saw her last. She’s one of those amazing friends that loves deeply and unconditionally. Her friendship was a gift to many, and I was one of the many blessed that knew her.

Why couldn’t they have done more for her? She doesn’t deserve this. Thoughts circled around in my mind as I watched her lose cognitive control. Trapped in confusion as we tried to explain to her what was going on, over and over again.

I sat there knowing this would be the last time I saw her alive. And I thought about what to say to her. What do you say to someone you will never see again on this earth?

There were moments where I would freeze up. I didn’t know what to say. Nothing I could say could even remotely make this situation better. I didn’t want to think about saying goodbye to her.

The rawness of her condition left bitter tears streaming down my face.

There were times when we talked about memories that we have shared through the years. And for a brief time we laughed about recollections, we reminisced about things we did together. And when the moment came, I told her that I love her, that she was a beautiful soul, that her friendship was a gift. And she smiled as she closed her eyes from weariness. It was time to let her rest.

I was reminded once again that she was losing her battle.

How fragile life is.

The reality that we don’t have the control we think we do.

My heart broke as I left her lying there. I gave her one last hug, knowing that the next time I see her, she will be in a casket. That realism has stung me to my core. The sorrow overwhelms me, and I feel as if the world is spinning around me and I am standing still watching everyone live their lives and it’s all a façade.

The world keeps moving. And I want to stand from a mountain and scream at the top of my lungs, “STAND STILL! THIS BEAUTIFUL LIFE THAT IS PASSING DESERVES REVERENCE!”

But life keeps going as I grieve. As much as we have no control over life, it keeps going. And it reminds me that I have to keep going, too. That I have to cease these moments I have on earth, because they are so limited. And I need to tell people that I love them, and I need to forgive easier, and give of myself more. I need to be a better friend, a better mother, a better wife. Because it’s not things that matter in this life, it’s people.

Beautiful people like Kris.

Snowman

Kris, remember this?

Remember when we were making him,

And you suddenly said, “Ooo, let’s give him a heart!”

And I was mesmerized as I watched you

Take red Kool-Aid and form a heart

In his chest.

I was just a little girl,

But I’ll never forget that…

We gave a snowman a heart that day.

And now this heart is for you.

I love you Kris.

Having Patience with the Process

The smell of autumn whispers to me when I open my front door, and for a moment I allow myself to savor the anticipation of Fall. It’s coming. Pretty soon the leaves will be turning, the air will be crisper, and the smell of chimney smoke will be permeating the air. And for this brief duration the world around me will be bursting with color and I will be basking in the aura of it all. This is a good time to be rejuvenated and inspired.

It’s hard to believe that Summer is reaching it’s last days here, and I can’t help but think about everything that has happened in the last few months. Earlier this year I journeyed into the world of Surface Pattern Design through Rachael Taylor’s course The Art and Business of Surface Pattern Design (http://makeitindesign.com/design-school/). I completed Module 1 in the spring, and it ended with me being highly inspired and slightly overwhelmed. So much juicy information was packed into that first module. But there was this lapse afterwards. I’m not for sure if it was just life in general, or if I just needed time to process all the info, but I started painting more instead of sketching. At that time my world of painting vs my world of sketching had certain boundaries. I have no idea why I set those limitations, but in my mind they were separate. Seems silly to say this now. As a mixed media artist I am usually very open to experimenting. I suppose I was stuck in somewhat of a rut. It happens.

On some level I think was trying to figure it all out…my passion for painting and my passion for pattern. Would these 2 eventually merge together? Do they need to be? Are they better separate? Painting for me is very self expressive and free, while pattern seemed more structured. I love both, but I was having a hard time grasping how they could work together.

Then something magical happened. I’m not quite sure what it was in my mind that made things clearer, but it all started when I began the Make It In Design Summer School. And WOW what an awesome experience this was. The MIID team posted segments of creative briefs along with a series of inspirational material with each assignment. Each brief was geared toward trends and were infused with interesting challenges. It was an incredible opportunity to focus on particular subjects that were not the norm for me. The limitations of the briefs forced me outside my comfort zone, and I found myself approaching pattern in a completely different way. It was seriously a light bulb moment. I began using more painting techniques within my patterns and I fell in love with the hands-on process. I was re-energized. I got my second wind.

BelindaSigs SS Typography Testimonial

Around this time I picked up a copy of Steal Like An Artist by Austin Kleon. This book couldn’t have come into my life at a more perfect time. I read the entire book in 3 days. It was jammed packed with such awesome straight forward information and presented in such a real way. So many good things in this book, but one thing that really stood out to me was, “Amassing a body of work or building a career is a lot about the slow accumulation of little bits of effort over time.”

SLAA

I think sometimes we see huge portfolios of awesome work and think we need to hurry up and create and get our work out there as fast as we can. But in reality it takes time to produce good work…it takes a lot of time. And I couldn’t help but make the connection between those words from Austin Kleon with the Make It In Design Summer School. Those segments of challenges that were periodically released allowed me to better understand the process that small steps over time equates to larger productive results. Summer School really pushed my creativity, and I ended up creating more patterns within those 2 months then I had all year. It was all about just taking advantage of the opportunities presented and doing something small each day…even if it was just one mark making or one sketch. In the end, it all built upon each other and it was fun to see the progression of my work. I discovered having patience with the process is everything.

Some of my creations from Summer School:

sea splats pattern 2water pattern 1Aquatic Treasure Pillows Mahala Flights of Fancy Flights of Fancy Mock Ups Safari Sunrise Tote KineticSparkles

To see the galleries for Make It In Design Summer School: http://makeitindesign.com/summer-school/

I am so thankful for what I have learned through this whole experience, and as Fall approaches I am looking forward to diving even further into creating with The Art and Business of Surface Pattern Design Module 2, and Flora Bowley’s class Bloom True…both starting next month. Exciting day ahead.

Thanks for reading,

Belinda

I Choose to Live Creatively…with Kids

Me and My Girls

Recently there was an article circling around the web about a lady in the creative industry who was interviewed on why she doesn’t want children. I honestly don’t know why I read it, because usually I don’t click on article links, but this time I did. And I was intrigued. Apparently this is a controversial subject, and I felt sorry for the people who felt they needed to leave negative comments toward her about it.

Now, I usually tend to shy away from controversial subjects, but this subjected stirred something inside me. It didn’t upset me, but her argument toward this subject gave me a discontentment and somewhat of an “off” feeling, for lack of better words. She is entitled to her opinion, but I took this creative entrepreneur to be naive.

I slept on it.

Certain parts of the article kept resurfacing in my head the next day. So I took that as a sign that I needed to write out my thoughts. For me, my experience with my children is totally different than what I could have ever expected.

See, there was a point in my life when my hubby and I first got married that I wasn’t for sure if I wanted to have children. I only confided in a few people about it, but it was a legitimate concern I had. And I remember feeling terribly guilty for feeling this way. I was young, naïve, a little selfish, and I enjoyed my freedom.

Four years later, my feelings changed, and my hubby and I decided together that we would try. We were both nervous as heck, but I knew by then that I did indeed want to be a Mother. We tried for 3 years. And test after test, my doctor finally told me I was infertile.

Anyone who has experienced that feeling knows how absolutely devastating that is. But this is a whole other blog post.

Long story short, after my hubby returned from his next deployment, I ended up getting pregnant. When I found out it was a girl, I named her Faith. Because, “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

She was a gift. My life was changed forever.

Fast forward 7 years later, I have 2 beautiful girls. They both are completely unique and offer different challenges, but they are the best things that ever happened to me. Of course, it’s hard at times. I find it difficult to balance the time to fit everything in that I’d like to do creatively, especially now that I’m homeschooling, too. But I have realized that the world I live in with my girls has opened up a whole new dimension to my creative life. There are things that I would have never done if it weren’t for them.

There is great value in seeing the world through my children’s eyes, and nurturing their creative spirit. And there is greater significance in showing my children that dreams can be achieved through diligence and perseverance. By being an example through my own creative journey, and showing my girls that it is important to do what you love, I hope to instill in them a deeper meaning of “success” and self worth. They are a vital part of my creative journey, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Of course I understand that the responsibilities I have towards my girls may limit the short term progression of my own artistic goals, but I do not consider it a limitation. I would rather be there for my girls every step of this journey and share with them what I do, make art and create with them, than pursue a demanding artist career at this time. I want to learn with them. I want them to know they are the most important part of my creative life. I want to savor the light in their eyes as they watch me paint and ask me if they can paint, too. And I let them. Because it’s not just about me, it’s about them, too.

I watch my oldest daughter get a piece of computer paper and put it in front of our 16 month old. Next, she puts a crayon in her hand. My little one squeals with delight as she fists that crayon in her hand, puts it to the paper, and watches the color explode (rather haphazardly). I lock eyes with Faith and we laugh.

That squeal? That’s how I feel every time I paint. That’s what it’s all about. And that’s what I want to experience with them.

I understand that these people that believe they don’t want children are entitled to their own opinion, but what if they are missing out on their greatest creative journey yet?

Thanks for reading,

Belinda

Believing in the Amazing You

quote resource: thegoodvibe.co

quote resource: thegoodvibe.co

 

I’ll admit it, I am guilty of self sabotage. It’s not that I don’t believe I can do something, but there are days when I find it hard to believe that some things are possible.

Sometimes I feel like Flint Lockwood in the movie, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. As he is talking himself through his process…and when he is in the middle of working on something, he stops to look at his motivational posters in his makeshift lab and says to himself, “motivating.” Except I don’t have any motivational posters on my walls…but I do have a Pinterest quote board, which is about the same.

I find quotes like, “Amazing things happen when you distant yourself from negativity.”

and, “Transform criticism into creativity.”

The problem is that some people might think that this negativity or criticism may be coming from other people or sources, but the raw truth is that most of my criticism and negativity that influences me comes from myself.

I’m not the only one with this problem. I have found that many other artists suffer from this same dilemma. And not just beginner artists, I’m talking about seriously talented people.

And it’s refreshing to know that we are kind of all in this together.

But setting that common bond aside, I’m faced to ponder why I feel this way about myself. I look myself in the mirror and ask, “Why do you not allow yourself to think you are amazing?” I don’t always have an answer, but sometimes my mind will respond with something like, “you will never be good enough.” Which I know is a lie. And recognizing that allows me to push forward and keep going.

So if you are hard on yourself, take a moment to reflect why. Then look yourself in the mirror, and no matter how you are feeling about yourself that day, just say out loud, “I am amazing.”

Because you are.

Recently, I’ve been competing in some design competitions. I’ve noticed that this has really helped me to continue to hone my style and it’s been fun to see the progression of my work. I’m learning to put myself out there, regardless of how I feel about myself. Here is some of my recent work for the Tigerprint Cute Character, birthday card competition.

Go Nuts Tw Happy Cake Day Tw Have a Hoot tw

Thank you for letting me share!

And remember – You are amazing!

The Secret of Change

Change is eminent, unpredictable and challenging. Sometimes change chooses us, but what if we choose change? What if we come to a point in our lives when we need change? What if everything inside of us that we have kept bottled up for so long is screaming to be unleashed. Would you listen to your intuition? What if it was time to finally let that “thing” go and just move forward? Would you do it?

My oldest daughter recently finished 1st grade. With much anticipation of the summer, she and I decided to sit down and concoct a list of things we are going to do this summer to occupy her time. She’s a rather crafty/artistic little girl, so we decided on a few things she would like to do and places she would like to go.

And then we decided on chores she will be doing. Yes, chores…the stuff I like her to do. Now, she is currently still getting used to this change of being the “picker up’er” and not the “mess maker”…and, yes, it’s definitely a process. But we are getting there.

It’s a small change, but as she is getting older she realizes things will change. In fact, she anticipates it. She knows she will be in 2nd grade next year and she is excited to be learning new things. She learned how to read this past year and it has opened up a whole new world for her. Change is all around her. It’s expected.

She’s six.

I wonder if adults had this same perspective…to expect change, to have a desire to learn and move forward…would we stay in our comfort zones?

I know many adults who are stuck, who have been stuck for years in the same place.

I’ve been there myself. I understand the whole comfort zone thing. But ya know what? I’ve discovered that putting myself outside that comfort zone is exhilarating. A comfort zone can become an invisible trap that you don’t even realize you are in. Life is so much bigger on the outside.

True freedom does exist.

I recently left a strict, conservative religious sect that I had known my whole life. This was a decision that I made over several years. It was no longer suiting  my lifestyle, it was a burden to my spiritual growth, and it was creating a flawed perspective in my oldest daughter. We finally got out of it last month. I cannot express how liberating it is to be out from underneath that weight of suppression. It’s a whole new freedom and I’m loving every day. I didn’t even realize how much it was holding me down until I left.

This change brought on a whole new meaning to freedom.

I painted a painting I’m calling “The Owl of Freedom.”

owl

 

I’m going to hang this up in my studio to commemorate my new direction. There is a whole new life out there waiting for me.

What is the secret of change?

“THE SECRET OF CHANGE IS TO FOCUS ALL OF YOUR ENERGY , NOT ON FIGHTING THE OLD, BUT ON BUILDING THE NEW.” ~Socrates

I’m trying every day to make those small steps toward the person I eventually want to become.

One of the best decisions I made this year was to sign up for the e-course, Do What You Love (http://dowhatyouloveforlife.com/course/do-what-you-love). I discovered it at such a key point in my life and I’m grateful from what I gained through the exercises.  I highly recommend it for anyone who wants to move forward toward doing what they love.

Small change or big change…every change (good or bad) in our lives has purpose. Are you ready to embrace it and move forward?

It might just be the best thing that ever happens to you.

 

Regards,

Belinda

Color me Spring

purple flowers 2

Guess what?

The flowers in our yard are FINALLY blooming!

The week before last it rained and poured…for days. Well, it seemed like that any way. After about the 3rd day of rain, I started to miss the sun, but I was forgetting something…rain brings GREEN and blooms and lovely little buds all over the trees. Spring has sprung.

It’s here, and I’m loving it!

There’s a beautiful tree in our backyard that I had completely forgotten about, too, until I peaked out our back window and saw this:

flower tree

And I was so happy!

What is wonderfully ironic about this, we are also studying color in the design Module 1 at The Art and Business of Surface Pattern Design this week. I was as giddy as a school girl as I grabbed my camera and told my girls we were going to play in the backyard. My 6yr old, still in her school uniform from that day, was thrilled since we hadn’t been out there yet due to the cold and wet. And well, my 11 month old didn’t have much of a choice, but she loved being outside so it was a win win for all of us. Fresh spring air, fresh blooms, fresh green grass, fresh COLOR…it was a little bit of heaven.

Grace and Flower

I couldn’t help but capture her little feet with a bloom. Her little toes get me every time. She’s growing up way too fast.

Anyway.

Back to color.

We’ve had several color exercises in class this week, all of which have been so fun and inspiring. I know I’ve posted in the past about how much I love color and how I’m addicted to my color theory books, but some of the things in the course this week has made it even more of a personal passion. We’ve studied how color can affect how we feel and how we can use it to in our designs to set a mood. How we can use it to meditate…loved that! We’ve played around with color palettes and learned how to create our own palettes with our own pictures.

blossom 1

But my all time favorite project of the week was creating a mood board. And since I’m really into my blooming tree right now (obviously), I thought I’d use that as a starting point and go with those colors. I’ll admit, this took a little bit of time to put together, but the process was so liberating. It was so fun to clip pictures out of magazines and gather little tidbits to add here and there…to touch the textures of objects and envision how I could capture the essence of certain items. Like the glisten of sequins (which I haven’t figure out yet), but wow it was so inspiring! I definitely understand how a mood board can set the entire tone for a design.

Here is mine:

mood board 1

What’s interesting, I’ve seen this done many times before and always wanted to give it a try. I have several books by artists and textile designers who share their own methods of creating mood boards and I’m always fascinated by how they built their boards, what they used, and what design/designs came out of it. And I get it now. I’m so inspired by what I created and I’m looking forward to honing into this mood board and developing my own sketches…I have a vision for multiple coordinating patterns here. Hoping I will be able to focus on this and make it a reality.

Color truly is all around us. I hope you are able to get out and enjoy some color today.

Thanks for reading,

Belinda

 

 

There’s an Angel in my Studio

My Grandma used to have a painting in her house of a Guardian Angel helping two little kids across a bridge. As much as I loved staring at it, I was also slightly terrified at the thought of a huge being watching over everything I did. Sometimes I would sneak in her room just to see it. I loved how the angel face seemed to glow…she had such adoration as she watched over the children. She seemed legitimately concerned. And I used to think that if I was ever in a scary place, there would be an angel there watching over me.

It was a nice thought.

I’ve always been drawn to angels and my oldest daughter (who is now 6) has picked up on this. So when I discovered that Suzi Blu created the workshop, Patchwork Angel Petite Doll, this month, I thought, how great would this be? A Mother, Daughter project! So we did it together and it was great fun. The workshop comes with the angel template so basically you just have to follow the instructions within the class. I thought my 6 year old daughter did very well with it, and I ended up only helping her with a couple things. She particularly loved making the patchwork skirt. Here is her painting:

SA F

It was a lot of fun just watching the vidoes together and going through the different steps. We sat side by side shading our little angel faces together and talking about what colors we wanted the dress to be. I highly recommend this. My daughter is already asking to do another one.

Here is mine:

SA mom

My angel sits in my studio above my little chalkboard that I use for inspirational ideas. She’s a lovely reminder that it’s important to make memories with my daughter. I’d like to think she whispers things to me from time to time.

Things like, “Take time to do what makes your soul happy.”

And, ” Be brave with your life.”

Because all of us need to be reminded from time to time that things we believe in and hope for are attainable.

I think I can

When I was a little girl, my Dad used to read the story of The Little Engine That Could. And although I didn’t fully grasp the potential of the concept when I was small, I grew to love this book and I still remember the animated voices my Dad used when he read it to me. It was mesmerizing to think that a little blue train – not the biggest, strongest or the most qualified train – but a little train with heart, determination, and optimism could make a big impression and complete it’s journey over the mountain.

It thought it could, so it did.

This past week I’ve been thinking a lot of when I first started painting. Ten years ago when I started playing around with the idea of doing art, I picked up a few art instructional books by Walter Foster. I poured myself into them not knowing if I was doing things correctly, but I was enjoying the process. I’ve always been drawn to art, but when I first started doing it “for reals”, I was teaching myself everything from these books. And I was so insecure in myself that I thought everything I was teaching myself was the incorrect way. Nobody even knew I tinkering in art…I kept it all to myself. I felt I needed guidance for someone to tell me how to do specific techniques, or to confirm if I was doing it right. It wasn’t until a couple years later that I took a watercolor class locally. It was an elderly art teacher and she had been doing a variety of different mediums a very long time. She was so laid back and gentle in her approach and for the first time I realized that art wasn’t necessarily about doing things a certain way, it was about expression, where you were at that time, what you were drawn to, and what inspired you. Art had more to do with conveying expression through color and texture than it had to do with literal art “rules.” And this opened my eyes.

I was hooked.

Little did I know the journey I was on.

I just enjoyed it, so I continued. I was eager to learn and challenge myself. I didn’t think I was necessarily headed in any particular direction; it was a therapeutic hobby. I didn’t even know that my art was defining itself over time. It just seemed to happen. Then one day (recently) I looked back at my original sketches that I did when I had first started “formally” sketching and it was all there…my style. It’s always been inside of me. Yes my work has matured, and I have learned many more techniques since then, but the same vibe is there.

I still consider myself a student, and I feel I have so much more to learn. But I think I can do it. I think I can get to where I want to go.

Like the little blue engine that could.

For several years now I’ve had a passion about pattern design, albeit it was a closet dream of mine and I honestly didn’t have a clue how my art would tie into it. Then for some odd reason, everything at once just clicked. And I discovered Rachel Taylor’s “The Art and Business of Pattern Design” school; and I thought, “Wow, this is where I need to be.” I showed it to my hubby and he studied it (as he does everything…I think that’s a military thing), and that evening he came up to me and said, “You need to do this. This is in line with exactly what you’ve been talking about for the last few years.” And I cried…because I love how much he gets me.

So I signed up, and then they had a scholarship competition and I applied. I didn’t know at the time that over 300 people from 39 different countries were also applying for the scholarship. Had I known, I probably would not have submitted anything because I would have thought I didn’t have much of a chance (ya know, with all the talented people out there). Because as much as I try to stay positive, I am my biggest enemy.

But I applied for the scholarship. This was my entry:

Circus Carnival WM

And I ended up being in the top 10. I won the first class of the series, Module 1.

I was shocked.

Lil’ ole me. I’m not the strongest artist, not the most qualified, not well-known…and all that really isn’t important to me.

I still don’t know where this journey will take me, but I’m open to the possibilities. I started class this week and I’m excited to be on a path. I feel like everything has lead up to this point, and I’m ready for it.

I think I can do this.

CC Sketches

original sketches

With Brave Wings She Flies

WBW 2

There is this moment in that pivotal point of the morning when the chill of the night has not yet been greeted by the warmth of the sun. And as the sun fights it’s way upon the horizon and those first beams of light shoot through my window, I hear the whispers of a new day. In this quiet moment, before the sound of children stirring and before responsibilities are calling, life stands still and I feel as though time is mine to own. I cling to the warmth of my comforter as I contemplate whether or not the cold floor is worthy of my warm toes. So I lie here zoned in thought. The possibilities of what could be achieved in the coming hours are but an illusion. Reality is that my day will be spent chasing after a curious crawler, and answering the questions of an intuitive 6 year old.

I love my girls.

But these still, quiet moments of a potential day are treasured. I need them to regain focus and strength. I need them to reinforce my prospective. I need them to reprieve insight and direction.

There is so much in me right now that is bursting. There is so much I want to do. And although I am somewhat limited as to what is accomplished due to my priorities of family, I am not giving up. Every day new ideas are propelling out and I find myself hunched over my sketch book eagerly trying to convey the concepts. I have filled 2 full sketchbooks within the last month. And as I feel compelled to release these creative burst, I feel a shift in my artistic direction…I want to do more. It’s extremely exciting because I feel as if I am pressing forward toward my dreams. And it’s all incredibly scary at the same time.

I have challenges ahead. I know this. But who I am…this whole creative person who came from the tormented thinking of “I’m not good enough” to the realization that my art is real and yes, it does have potential. This journey…my journey…has been a miracle of Faith and the result of persistence. Everything inside of me is pushing me forward.

It’s time to be brave.

WBW 3

This is a canvas journal I painted this week. It is going to be my new inspirational journal. I’ve been on Pinterest a lot lately and as much as I love it, I wanted something substantial to hold in my hands…something I created. I imagine clippings of magazine pictures, snipits of ribbon, and tidbits of tiny treasures. It’s going to be lovely.

I really enjoyed creating the texture on this cover:

WBW 1

What keeps you motivated and moving toward your dreams? Do you have a favorite inspirational quote? Would love to hear it!

Thanks for letting me share,

Bindy